Good Major Lorne
by Cookie Creed
Summary: A short story about the entertaining things that happen everyday on Atlantis and a certain Major that I happen to find very attractive. For a human.


_I apologise in advance for any spelling or grammatical mistakes. I wrote this as it came into my head and sometimes I get the words jumbled up._

**Good Major Lorne**

A storm was brewing overhead.

Major Evan Lorne leant against the railing on the east pier of Atlantis, watching grey clouds form in the distance. He reflected on everything that had happened to him in his short time in the Pegasus Galaxy so far.

He'd been stunned by Ford, attacked by the Wraith, kidnapped and involved in several fist fights with angry villagers. Although it wasn't as exciting as he'd originally thought, it was still much better than the Milky Way.

If only his family could see him now. Especially his sister. She would be so jealous.

oOo

"So tell me again, what is that?" Lorne asked.

Ronon held out the bowl with a weird bird leg sticking out of it.

"It's a delicacy here," Ronon said innocently. Not wanting to offend the villagers, Lorne took the bowl and gingerly bit into the leg. The villagers looked pleased.

"Why couldn't you guys eat this crap?" he asked, his mouth full.

"Crap?" a villager asked.

"It means delicious," Lorne replied, fixing Ronon and Teyla with his disdainful look. They were both hiding smirks and he looked at Sheppard. There was no encouragement from his commanding officer. "Fine," Lorne said, "I'll eat the crap." He finished the entire bowl under the villagers' watchful eyes and handed it back. They chattered happily.

As soon as they were gone Lorne washed out his mouth with water.

oOo

He rolled his eyes.

"Football is great!" Lorne cried. "Just ask Sheppard!"

"I am sure that is true," Teyla said politely, "however I do not understand the rules."

"Come on, I'll teach you if you like." Lorne really wanted Teyla to like football. She sighed and glanced at McKay who was typing away at his computer while they walked. Getting no encouragement from him, she nodded.

Sheppard, walking on the other side of Lorne, had heard the exchange and both men were ecstatic. They both loved football and had played it in college. Sheppard called it 'one of the best inventions of mankind' while Lorne called it 'awesome'.

"If you forgive my asking, sir, but how old is the video you have?" Lorne asked Sheppard.

"It was only last season," Sheppard said dismissively. "The rules are still the same. Have been for a gazillion years."

Ronon joined them.

"I still haven't forgiven you for making me eat that crap last week," Lorne told Ronon, sidling up to him. Teyla and Ronon both chuckled.

"It was a delicacy," Ronon said.

"That may be so, but it tasted horrible," Lorne said, huffing. "Now if you guys'll excuse me I have to go get ready for my next mission."

"Have fun," Sheppard said sarcastically.

oOo

The mission had been a disaster. One of Lorne's team had been attacked and were lying in the medical bay dying. Lorne paced the corridor impatiently, waiting for the verdict.

It was so stupid! If Lorne had seen the guy go into the forest to pee he would have been able to stop it. But no. A large creature native to the planet beat the crap out of the member of his team. Lorne had lugged him back while the guy bled to death.

"Doc?" Lorne asked as Beckett came out.

"He'll live," Beckett replied, "but he's too badly injured to stay here. He should get back to Earth to recover."

"I'll make sure he does," Lorne sighed. "Thanks Doc."

He turned on his heel and wandered up to Weir's office. His musings were interrupted from a shout from McKay.

"Give it back Sheppard!"

Lorne saw Sheppard running up the hall with McKay's computer, waggling it teasingly while McKay waddled after him, shouting for his laptop back. Sheppard saw Lorne and mimed a throw.

"Catch!" Sheppard called.

"Don't you dare Major!" McKay screamed. Lorne caught the computer and turned, running down the hall with McKay stumbling after them like an idiot. Without thinking about it, their antics cheered Lorne up considerably.

"Good Major Lorne," Sheppard said. "You take direction well."

"I learned from the best, sir," Lorne replied, turning and darting down a separate corridor.

Yes, his sister would be very jealous indeed.


End file.
